Edwardian Style Room Divider

I had a lovely job to do this week.

"We want to close off the through lounge so that we can utilise the back room as a consulting room for homeopathy"
That's what they wanted.
That's what they got...
It would have been easy to throw up a room divider of some sort - but this couple wanted it to be in keeping with the age of the house - and so I was given free rein.
They are delighted with the result.

Click the following link to See slide show
They are in the process of transferring their highly respected homeopathy consultation rooms from Brighton to Eastbourne.
I suspect Brighton's loss is Eastbourne's gain.
If you are thinking about homeopathic treatments and want good advice visit their website.
I know you will be as impressed as I am.
Follow this link or the one in the side bar.

Electric Heaters (Atlantic)

Is it me - am I getting too old - or are controls on even the simplest of gadgets getting absurdly complicated?
Is it me - am I getting too old - or do the instructions on even the simplest of gadgets have to be printed in the minutest of type?
Is it no longer possible to write a simple, one page manual, in English rather than a useless tome of several dozen pages in almost every known obscure language.
I haven't come across anybody that hasn't, at some time or another, been annoyed by the incomprehensible gobbledygook that comes vomiting out of every new (EU standardised package) item.
Is all this nonsense for the benefit of the mindless politically correct twittering classes, or is it just for the ultimate convenience of some faceless corporations.

What is he going on about, you may be asking yourself.

Well, I had a call from a lady asking me to come and see her. (oh yes, you may be surprised that I'm still in demand at my age!!!!) She'd just moved into a brand new luxury apartment (does anybody live in a normal flat anymore?) in Sovereign Harbour. It was a cold day and she couldn't get the heaters to function. Now please take note... This lady was a very smart lady. Articulate, charming, graceful, intelligent, beautiful and computer literate. She'd set up the television, the computer and even the microwave on her own! But try as she might she couldn't get the heating working.

Along came I.

The heaters look nice: sleek, elegant, and obviously not cheap. But icy cold. The controls are on the top right of the unit. I suppose that they could have been made smaller, but that would have been blatant cruelty. Imagine if you will a 2"x 1" space on which are a plethora of lights dials and sliders.
The symbols are clear - but only if you have the eyesight of an eagle and can read things embossed white on white in the half light of a normal sitting room. With the use of a magnifying glass and a strong light (I kid you not) it was just possible to decipher the hieroglyphics.
After a few more minute the heater was functioning wonderfully.

At home I have an electric heater. I switch one switch for one bar, and two switches for two bars. Even I with my builders hands can operate the controls with consummate ease. The fire is some twenty years old... if we could do it then why can't we do it now?
What mindboggling progress have we made that enables us to make something so simple so complicated. My suspicion is that they (whoever they are) do it simply because they can - and sod the end user.

Flatpack and customer service

I had three calls from regular customers today, all needing flat pack assembled.
Two of the items were standard flat pack type furniture units; simple and straightforward enough.
The other one was a "self assembly" fitness bike.
You know the things I mean...
They stand in many a home, unused, except in the first flush of enthusiasm.
Thereafter they become silent clothes horses.
Well this (next year's clothes horse) needed to be assembled first.
"It's for my daughter" she explained.
The man who sold it to her said it only needed four pieces put together to complete the assembly, and yes she would be easily capable of doing it.
Well I am here to tell you that the salesman had either no idea what he was talking about (in which case he is at best a nitwit), or else he was maliciously mendacious.
It took me the better part of 30 minutes to sort the thing out.
It would have taken the lady, by her own admission, more than 30 hours!
In another life I was a highly successful Direct Salesman.
For those of you who don't already know direct sales is a feast or famine game.
Some weeks you'll feast on roast chicken
other days all you'll have to eat is feathers.
The pressures to perform and reach targets are unrelenting.
It's a very exciting way to live.
The temptation to dupe is huge and ever present.
It is purely down to an individual's personal integrity which way they go.
My erstwhile mentor in sales was a guy called Greg Barnes.
He used to say that the "tools" of the salesperson and the "tools" of the con artist are the same....

The ONLY difference between a sales person and a con artist is intent!

A salesperson does things to help a customer reach a decision that is good for the customer.
The con artist does things to make the customer reach a decision that is good for the con artist.
People with good intent and personal integrity, aren't those the type of people we all want to deal with?
The lady has said she will never go back to that shop again.
I think she's right to think like that, don't you?

Fixed my own toilet!!!!

For (at least!) the last two months we've been living with water hammer.
Since mid September we've had the drone of water hammer every time the loo was used. Having a handyman as a husband, my wife should have been able to expect the job to be done immediately. Why has she been waiting for so long? I hear you cry. To be honest I have no idea! It's bugged me since it started! The drone was terrible. It just went on and on.
We were having a lie in this morning/afternoon and all of a sudden I decided to fix it. So there I was, on a peaceful Sunday, in my lolly gaggers, head under the cistern, replacing the defective ball valve. It only took a few minutes and the job was done.
What I still can't figure out is why it took so long for me to get around to it. . I knew what the problem was. I had the parts in the van. I had the tools to hand. I knew it would only take a few minutes. So why oh why did it take so long? Can any one tell me?

Draughtproofing Sash Windows

Over today and tomorrow (Thu-Fri) I'm re-cording and draughtproofing all the sash windows in a 19th century house (seven in total). It ranks up there with door hanging as one of my favourite jobs to do. I'm using Mighton products to do the job. I've used other draughtproofing setups before, but this company really impresses. Mighton is a sash window hardware manufacturer. They are so easy to deal with. Order the goods before 16.30 and they arrive next day. Their service has been exemplary. If you have a broadband connection go to their website and have a look at the Sash Window Television flash videos!!!!

Sash windows have quite a history.
I've copied the following directly from their website for those too lazy to click through to their history page. Enjoy reading and if you want your sash windows overhauled give me a call on 07930 335 937.

The Old Norse had a word for the simple openings in the walls of buildings that let light in and arrows out -vindauga.
It translates as `wind eye' the penalty obviously for anyone peering too long through those draughty slits. Almost 1,000 years later, vindauga had evolved into 'window' and arrow slits into the classic sash window - a simple yet weatherproof closure offering the perfect balance between illumination and ventilation. and for which Mighton Products today specialises in providing a comprehensive range of sash window ironmongery.
But for the skills of London-based master joiner Thomas Kinward, it might have taken longer for the development of the box framed sash window. In 1669 or thereabouts, he was working in the Royal apartments at Whitehall Palace. His employer, Sir Christopher Wren asked him to put 'a line and pulley to the window in ye Queen's Stoole room. 'It was the earliest recorded specification of a fully developed sash window. Whether Kinward thought up the characteristic counter-balancing feature or whether it was Wren himself, is undecided. But for two centuries, the sash window reigned supreme.
By the time Anne was crowned in 1702, the traditional but inconvenient English casement window with leaded lights had all but been abandoned in favour of the sash that became the hallmark of Georgian architecture. Early versions of the sash's classic arrangement of two lights independently held in a box frame, were single hung; the upper light was fixed, only the lower light was able to slide in the frame. By the mid 18th Century double-hung sashes were supreme.
Counter balancing was the hallmark of the era but although `sash' derives from the French word `chassis', the French hadn't figured out the counter-balancing innovation and held the lower sash in place with a swivel block. Each light had its own cord and counter-balance weight or 'mouse' running within the hollow frame of the whole window. Each light could slide independently within the frame yet remain in an open position without props, pegs or wedges.
The early sashes held their small and expensive panes of glass with thick glazing bars. Developments in the manufacture of Crown Glass brought larger panes cut from large glass discs, sometimes up to 3ft in diameter. The thick centre, where the blower's rod was attached and which today is mimicked by the bull's eye panes, was discarded or sold cheaply for use at the back of the house. With larger panes, glazing bars became thinner, more intricately moulded and the classic six-over-six pane design became the norm.
The Victorian passion for things medieval revived Gothic architecture and ostentatious buildings. Mass production made ornamentation cheap and builders added pattern book styles without hesitation. Sash windows became highly decorated with leaded lights, latticework and ornate stone and wood tracery. The Victorians played the field with four, eight or twelve- pane sashes. The finest would have been 16-pane double hung sashes that lent themselves to the larger window openings and bay fronts.
More than any other component, the size, shape and number of windows created the essential style and rhythm of these buildings - both inside and out. Vertically- proportioned sash windows provided comfortable natural lighting conditions and avoided excessive glare. A careful graduation in window size from street level not only intensified the effect of perspective but allowed more light into the more important rooms on lower floors.
Today at Mighton Products we see windows as relevant to the personality of a workman's terrace or the shopkeeper's villa as to the cleric's manse and the gentry's hall. However, the doors and windows that created this architectural impact and historic character are threatened.
Conservationists fear the legacy developed by the proportions, detailing, and materials of windows and doors is being lost by the insensitive replacement with modern designs.
The offenders? Misinformation, financial incentives to modernise old houses and door-to-door sales campaigns by home`improvement' companies.
Mighton Products doesn't denounce all PVCu and aluminium products.
The key word is `inappropriate'. Generally new systems do not match the detailing of traditional windows. False glazing bars and stuck-on lead look nothing like the real thing and often are a crude parody. In many cases, simple repairs at relatively low cost will extend the life of a door and window. Local surgery is usually a far better bet than costly wholesale replacement.
An overhaul to timber windows coupled with draught proofing, using Mighton Products sash window ironmongery, will provide a better financial return and reduce the old problem of `wind eye' more than double glazing.
If you want your sash windows overhauled give Jim a call on 07930 335 937.