Genuinely! NO JOB TOO SMALL

This post is written with the kind permission of the client
"I've lost my false teeth!" came the lisping voice out of the earpiece. "I had them in a glass and knocked them over this morning. Now I can't find them."The voice had a hint of desperation. "Can you come and have a look for them." The carpet's the same colour as my teeth, and with my eyesight and bad back I'll never find them." 
The Eastbourne Handyman Extraordinaire was about to live up to his promise of NO Job too small. Ten minutes later I was there, and was invited into the lady's bedroom straight away (Oh yes, it's one of the perks of the job! :D). Me, on my hands and knees, and she in her slippers and nightie. It only took a couple of seconds (to find the teeth) and then I was on my way. When I say NO JOB TOO SMALL I mean it. 


If you'd like to email me CLICK HERE

Sad Obituary?

With all the sadness and trauma
going on in the world at the moment,
it is worth reflecting
on the death of a very important person,
which almost went unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise

the man that wrote
'The Hokey Kokey'
died peacefully at the age of 93

The most traumatic part for his family
was getting him in the coffin.

They put his left leg in...

and that's when the trouble started..

.

Just to let you know

From January 2010 the new home page of "Jim'll Fix It Services" will be www.rwjsear.com.
As always, whatever you need I can help. If I can't help - I'll know someone who can!
Whether its property maintenance, or a computer problem that needs solving

give me a call on 07930 335 937.

What senior citizens are worth?

I have a very dear friend called Zena Parker. She's in the late summer evening of her life. She has every imaginable thing wrong with her, would be bed-ridden if she could manage to get into it, but despite all that she is STILL an absolute powerhouse of an 80 year old.
She never complains, never. I tell you this because I popped into see her on my rounds today, and she gave me this little poem/verse/prose (can someone explain to me the difference). It has nothing to do with handyman things, it's just a bit of fun.

We old folk are worth a fortune!
We’ve silver in our hair,
Gold in our teeth,
Stones in our kidneys,
Lead in our feet,
and gas in our stomachs!

I’ve become older since last I saw you,
and a few changes have come into my life.
Frankly, I’ve become a frivolous old woman.
I’m seeing six gentlemen every day!

As soon as I wake up Will Power helps me out of bed, then I go and see Jimmy Riddle and then it's time for breakfast with Mr. Kellogg followed closely by the refreshing company of Mr.Tetley or my other friend who I know only by his initials PG!

Then there’s someone I don't like at all - Arthur Itis. He knows he’s not to come, but he insists on being there, and what’s more, he stays all day and night. He doesn't like to stay in one place, so he moves me from joint to joint.

I’m also flirting with Al Zheimer -- I’d tell you more but I can't remember much about him! After such a hectic day, I’m always glad to get into bed with Johnny Walker

The Vicar came to call the other day and said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. So I told him I did, all the time, for no matter where I am -- the bedroom, the kitchen the sitting room or even in the garden, I ask myself,
" Now what am I here after "

Well I'll close now and hope that Will Power is your constant companion but do make sure that his friend Emma Royd doesn’t creep up on you from behind! And do watch for that crafty crafty so and so, Gerry Attric....

Bye for now Anonymous

How to be the perfect girlfriend

Have a look at this video
It's funny and true
http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-be-the-perfect-girlfriend

Asda advertises Tesco

Trish sent me this audio
I think it's funny
CLICK HERE to listen
It's amazing what people will do if you just ask.

George W Bush

Watch this video of George W Bush -

I think its brilliant

Bush Impersonation Video

Tell me what you think

email me handyman@seehawk.co.uk