Putting up lights switching switches and recover dead websites and find websites that have moved.

Today was a "clean" day. I went out clean, I came back home clean. Trish was amazed. I spent most of the morning changing light switches from worn away brass to white, and normal two gang switches to dimmer switches. I was also asked to replace some pendant lights that had seen better days. It can take a surprising amount of time to make such minor changes. It was cold and wet outside,  and I didn't want to get cold and wet, and so I pottered around, getting the job done and just enjoyed doing the work.
When buying a dimmer switch always look at the rating - many are rated about 240W max. A lot of dimmer switches 'fail' after a short time, mainly because they are overloaded. If a chandelier has 8 bulbs @ 40w (and lots do) then just one chandelier will already be overloading the dimmer. If you have two chandeliers on one dimmer.... well you do the sums. All I'm saying is check the loading if you are about to install dimmer switches. If your looking for good over the counter advice checkout 'TLC Electrical Supppliers' in Eastbourne.

While I was changing switches, my client and I were chatting about loads of things, and he mentioned  in passing how he had a website made in memory of his mother with her full life story but had lost it all when the hosting service ended.
Nothing is totally lost once its been on the net.
This evening I relaxed by hunting for the website. I quickly found some of the old pages, (The ones that were supposedly lost) and with some more digging managed to find all of the pages that he had assumed were gone forever. I phoned him to tell him that his mum's memoires were not lost, and tomorrow I'll  give him a copy of the lot. What he does then is up to him.
Nothing is totally lost once it's been on the Net.
For some that's good news and for others that may be bad.

What senior citizens are worth?

I have a very dear friend called Zena Parker. She's in the late summer evening of her life. She has every imaginable thing wrong with her, would be bed-ridden if she could manage to get into it, but despite all that she is STILL an absolute powerhouse of an 80 year old.
She never complains, never. I tell you this because I popped into see her on my rounds today, and she gave me this little poem/verse/prose (can someone explain to me the difference). It has nothing to do with handyman things, it's just a bit of fun.

We old folk are worth a fortune!
We’ve silver in our hair,
Gold in our teeth,
Stones in our kidneys,
Lead in our feet,
and gas in our stomachs!

I’ve become older since last I saw you,
and a few changes have come into my life.
Frankly, I’ve become a frivolous old woman.
I’m seeing six gentlemen every day!

As soon as I wake up Will Power helps me out of bed, then I go and see Jimmy Riddle and then it's time for breakfast with Mr. Kellogg followed closely by the refreshing company of Mr.Tetley or my other friend who I know only by his initials PG!

Then there’s someone I don't like at all - Arthur Itis. He knows he’s not to come, but he insists on being there, and what’s more, he stays all day and night. He doesn't like to stay in one place, so he moves me from joint to joint.

I’m also flirting with Al Zheimer -- I’d tell you more but I can't remember much about him! After such a hectic day, I’m always glad to get into bed with Johnny Walker

The Vicar came to call the other day and said at my age I should be thinking of the hereafter. So I told him I did, all the time, for no matter where I am -- the bedroom, the kitchen the sitting room or even in the garden, I ask myself,
" Now what am I here after "

Well I'll close now and hope that Will Power is your constant companion but do make sure that his friend Emma Royd doesn’t creep up on you from behind! And do watch for that crafty crafty so and so, Gerry Attric....

Bye for now Anonymous

Outside lights

This evening I had arranged to fit an outside light for a home owner.
The old unit had given up the ghost.
The homeowner was an electronics researcher, who in daily life gave presentations at conferences on electronics, but freely admitted that he preferred not to handle screwdrivers if he could possibly avoid them. It seemed somehow strange to fit a simple light for a research fellow in electronics, but I've done many strange things in my life, so one more mildly surreal thing simply didn't faze me.
In the course of conversation we did discover that we both had a healthy disdain for "designers" and their apparent lack of common sense. It takes just as long to design something well, as it does to design it poorly, so why do so many designers (and architects) design so poorly?
Is it malevolence, ignorance, or stupidity?
If you want to see what I consider a prime example of ghastly design go down to the corner of Whitley Road and St Philips Avenue. There you will see a large building (St Philip's Church of England church) that is "architect designed". How could anybody associate themselves with such a miserable confection - unless of course they wanted to become known for poor quality prison punishment block design? It is at best an eyesore - but I suspect it is probably feted throughout the designer community, as what can be readily achieved with the right level of complete disregard for one's own self respect.
Professionals!
I think not.

Well that's my rant for the day

Oh by the way. the light works now.

Flatpack - simple doesn't mean easy.

I like doing flat pack. It's fun. Over time I've found it's best not to look at the instructions too much --the given instructions only serve to confuse. Most are written in gibberish, in poor photocopy quality, and very often don't even relate to the actual article to assemble. For me, by far the best way forward is to look at the finished picture or exploded diagram and work it out from there.
What's even more fun is putting right a customers attempt at assembly.
Why?
Well, generally, the customer is just grateful that their treasured lumps of chipboard will finally be able to be used for the purpose they were bought for. I've seen highly articulate lawyers and doctors reduced to gibbering wrecks by wonky, ill fitting joints, torn out fastenings, and the sight of a dozen screws left over and no holes to put them in. One of my customers had fled to Curacao (the island not the drink) (just off the coast of Venezuela, which is in the north east of South America, which is beneath Mexico, which borders onto the USA, which is over the other side of the big pond that is to the left of Lands End, which is along the coast from Eastbourne.
I don't know how many weekend warriors have succumbed to a life as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder invalids by the horrors of trying to assemble items from IKEA, MFI, and Argos. But I do know this. I don't practice medicine (apart from the odd plaster) and I don't practice law. I know my limitations (which are precious few). Why should a brain surgeon or barrister think they can follow instructions in chinswedeengrish without adequate training? That's like me believing I can represent myself in court because I like to argue.
When my customer eventually comes back from the other side of the world he'll find his sideboard assembled and no one, not even his wife, will ever need to know that he didn't do it himself. I love flat pack -- it's fun. If you need help give me a call -- I won't tell anyone.:)

Enthusiasm

I'm a Quaker, and I love to watch boxing! Yes, I know that Quakers are supposed to be all peace and deep thinking, but if that's true, then I suppose I'm a poor Quaker. Anyway, the reason for me telling you that is because today, I was working in a house in Hampden Park putting up surround sound speakers. Not exactly taxing work, but work none the less. Both father and son are keen sports fans. The son is a martial arts expert, and the father an ex-boxer. The father, who is now a pensioner, was watching a boxing match on the television. It was a re-run of a 90's middleweight match between Sugar Boy Malinga and Nigel Benn. I used to love to watch Nigel Benn box because he was such a powerhouse. His fights against Chris Eubanks were spectacular. He attacked each fight with boundless enthusiasm. I was a huge fan of his.
While watching the match the father told me that he'd been a boxing contender in his youth, and wanted to pursue a professional career but was told that starting boxing at 22, he was already too old to have a real chance, and so he married his wife instead. It's amazing how a chance remark like that, can affect what we do in life. The remark changed the course of that man's life. He stopped pursuing his career in the ring, but to this day, still retains the enthusiasm for boxing after all these years.
It occurred to me afterwards, that seemingly inconsequential remarks have altered my life, often for the worse, but also, sometimes for the better. But whatever direction I took, I took it with enthusiasm. What chance remarks have altered your life? Have you lived your life adventurously?
I have no idea what Nigel Benn is up to nowadays, but I am sure that whatever it is, he will be as enthusiastic about it as he was then.
To this day I attack everything with enthusiasm. It's the only way for me to be.

When a client becomes a friend

This week I was working in the house of an octogenarian. Unsteady in movement, gentle in speech, back bent with age, and hands distorted with arthritis. For some the image of Eastbourne is that of "God's waiting room". Eastbourne abounds with the sounds of creaking bones and groaning muscles. It can be easy to dismiss much of the population as "over the hill". In fact many can be considered to be over the hill, down the valley, and half way up the other side. Being a handyman, I am in their homes, sometimes for hours on end, and so I get to know a lot of these old timers. It never fails to astound me , the rich and varied lives they have led. I have yet to find one that has led a boring life. They have all, in their own ways, lived life adventurously. My octogenarian client is old and slow ---- until he starts telling me of his life as a professional classical musician. You have to understand, I have not no interest in music, and even less ability. I detest piped music in shops and restaurants, and if the radio is on, I always prefer to tune to a speech programme (generally Radio 4). However when this man started talking about his life in music he made it come alive. He came alive, and this old man's eyes lit up again. He talked of the places he'd been, the people he'd played with, and the orchestras he'd conducted. In his minds eye he is was at the top of the mountain, and could see the panorama of his life. He talked of his wife, whom he had been happily married to for fifty-five years. He talked of his children, and the love and pride he felt for them. He talked of the death of his wife, and how he had nursed herin the last years of her life. He talked of the emptiness and loneliness he now felt.
In the couple of hours I was there, I saw an anonymous old man turn into a person who I both liked and respected. This is no isolated incident. It has happened many times before, and will no doubt happen many more times. I don't know if my listening helped him, I know it helped me.

I have to hope that when it is my time to be old, someone will listen to me.

Be nice

In the 80's I was living and working in Germany. One of the most fascinating stories I’ve ever heard comes from that time. Idafehn is a small village in Ostfriesland, Northern Germany. When Hans Bergen died the villagers were astonished, because he left an estate of over £20,000 to a young girl named Antje Martin. She, of all people, was the most surprised of all; she had never spoken to Hans Bergen.
How could such a thing happen to her?
Hans Bergen’s Will told the story. It seems that one day Anne Martin smiled at him. It was the only smile he'd ever received in his lifetime. Grotesquely ugly, Hans had lived a lonely, affection-starved life. His ugliness frightened and repulsed the villagers and they avoided him like the plague. Perhaps the young girl Antje Martin, saw the loneliness in Hans and gave him the only thing she could — a smile.
It’s amazing how much we can do for others when we invest a little of ourselves in them.

Growing older

I live in Pevensey Bay. I like Pevensey Bay. One of the reasons I like it is because if you're under 55 in P Bay you're considered a teenager. As you know, I have a lot of very nice customers. Many of them are elderly, and many live in P Bay. One of the many things I'm asked to do is take out baths and fit shower cubicles. Often the customer can no longer get his or her leg over the bath edge, or can't sit down, or they can get in, but can't get back up . There are so many different solutions and they can often be tailored to suit individual circumstances.

Without exception, all of my elderly customers were once young, fit, and healthy.

I can't begin to know what they feel, but I can only think it must be frustrating getting older.

I found this article in a book I read quite often - - I think it says a lot on the subject of getting older, sometimes when I read it I can see myself.

If we are getting older it will be harder to acknowledge that we have not been called to spectacular service, that we are unlikely now to make a stir in the world, that our former dreams of doing some great healing work had a great deal of personal ambition in them. A great many men and women have had to learn this unpalatable lesson - and then have discovered that magnificent opportunities lay all around them. We need not go to the ends of the earth to find them; we need not be young, clever, fit, beautiful, talented, trained, eloquent or very wise. We shall find them among our neighbours as well as among strangers, in our own families as well as in unfamiliar circles - magnificent opportunities to be kind and patient and understanding. This is a vocation just as truly as some more obviously seen as such - the vocation of ordinary men and women called to continual, unspectacular acts of loving kindness in the ordinary setting of every day. They need no special medical boards before they embark on their service, need no inoculation against anything but indifference and lethargy, and perhaps a self-indulgent shyness.

How simple it sounds; how difficult it often is.

Clifford Haigh, 1962

If you need some ideas about showers and baths, for yourself, or someone you know, pop along to the new showrooms at Plumbase Unit 12, Hawthorn Road, Eastbourne, Tel:01323 746666.

Multiple Sclerosis

This morning I had to do a few simple jobs for a young man in the prime of his life. I don't think he is yet 30.

A bit of polyfilla in a couple of small holes. Replace a broken tile. Add some silicone around the worktop. All very minor tasks. Minor, that is, for me. This man is in the throes of full blown MS.

I have no idea what he is feeling. Do you think he might be morose, sullen, rude, arrogant, spiteful, condescending, insincere, or out to take advantage, as so many people appear to be? No. This young man - THIS MAN - is none of these things. His movements are very limited. He appears to struggle with every movement he makes. His speech is slurred. He has to consider every word he utters. He has no privacy. He has to allow strangers to do even the simplest of private and personal acts for him. But despite all that he is friendly, polite, thoughtful, gracious and kind. He retains his dignity.

Anyone can be objectionable towards others- and many are - there's no skill or art in being objectionable - it's evident in all aspects of race, creed, class, education, and intelligence.

But it makes the perpetrator a very pitiful individual.

As I left that man today he thanked me - he didn't just say "thank you" - he meant it.

He has my utter respect. I cannot begin to know what he feels. All I know is, "that there but for the grace of God go I" and I feel humble.

This is what I do

I work as a general handyman and I'm able to do a wide variety of jobs.
Although I have the skills and knowledge to build a house, I no longer choose to undertake any large projects. Many customers tell me I am particularly good at problem solving.I can custom build wardrobes and bookcases, hang doors, assemble flat pack, make wooden windows open that have stuck for years, install cat flaps, fit washing machines/dishwashers, fix leaking taps, toilets, and ball cocks, in fact there are not many jobs I cannot do.

My skills
My skills cover most things carpentry, plumbing, or electrical
I do not do ANY heating or gas - but I know a man who does...
Please note I am not a registered plumber or electrician
All electrical work carried out by me will be approved by a fully registered electrician. If and when certification is applicable he may charge a fee for the certificate.


Other Trades
I know a number of very good reliable tradesmen. These tradesmen are known to me and have been tried and tested by my many customers. The people whom I introduce, or whose numbers I give you, are completely independent from my business. Make sure that you feel happy with them and negotiate with them for their work directly.


Estimates
Any estimate given whether verbal or written will be for my advice, labour, and expertise only and does not cover unforeseen circumstances, additional works, or work to be carried out by any other tradesmen.

All materials are in addition to the estimate and must be paid for in advance. If you wish I can take you to my trade suppliers, where you can take advantage of my trade discount accounts.


Rubbish clearance
Any rubbish will need to be placed in your general household rubbish bin, if a large amount of rubbish is expected then I would advise that you arrange a skip to be on site. Alternatively I can give you the telephone number of a man who does rubbish clearance.

Payment
I accept cash and Paypal.
I do not give credit in any form.

A fence too high!

It's been a busy week. The storms made it even busier. I now have more than enough fencing repairs to last me a lifetime. Well, at least enough for a couple of weeks.
There have been some guys out there quoting near black market prices. One customer I went to had been quoted £180.00 - wait for this - to have a single 6' X 6' fence panel slid back into its existing concrete posts !!!!!! They didn't even have to replace the panel with a new one. That type of fence panel can be put into place by two people in about 2 minutes. You go figure out the hourly rate. Now I want to make it clear, I have absolutely no problems with someone making a very healthy profit for services rendered, but, and it's a big but; please draw the line at profiteering. Leave that sort of behaviour to bankers and other such "professionals". That's my rant for the day done.

Nice customers...

For several years now, I've followed the policy, that I only work with people I like.
The reason is very simple. First impressions do count, and more often than not they are the right impressions. If you don't feel comfortable with someone, there will be a very good reason why that is . Its the gut feelings that count. Sometimes, when I haven't followed my own advice, something has gone amiss. Not every time, but often enough that I could kick myself. This year, no matter how much I might want to, I am going to resist the urge to help everybody. The last guy that tried to help everybody was crucified, and he had a very powerful dad.

This morning when I got up I knew I would enjoy work today because I was going to be working for two very nice customers. I've worked for the first couple before now. They have a nice home and over time want to make it nicer. They are so easy to get on with, and appreciate what I do. Because of that I try to do that little bit more. The job was to re-jig the cupboard under the stairs. Not a complicated job by any standards, but as with anything else, not as easy as one might first think. It would have been easy to throw up something plain and simple, and they would have been happy with that, but because they're nice people, I did something simple but with with a lot more style, and user friendlier. It cost them nothing to be nice, and the payback was that I was prepared to do more because of their pleasantness. I actually undercharged for the job, but the funny thing is I don't care, I like to be appreciated.