When a client becomes a friend

This week I was working in the house of an octogenarian. Unsteady in movement, gentle in speech, back bent with age, and hands distorted with arthritis. For some the image of Eastbourne is that of "God's waiting room". Eastbourne abounds with the sounds of creaking bones and groaning muscles. It can be easy to dismiss much of the population as "over the hill". In fact many can be considered to be over the hill, down the valley, and half way up the other side. Being a handyman, I am in their homes, sometimes for hours on end, and so I get to know a lot of these old timers. It never fails to astound me , the rich and varied lives they have led. I have yet to find one that has led a boring life. They have all, in their own ways, lived life adventurously. My octogenarian client is old and slow ---- until he starts telling me of his life as a professional classical musician. You have to understand, I have not no interest in music, and even less ability. I detest piped music in shops and restaurants, and if the radio is on, I always prefer to tune to a speech programme (generally Radio 4). However when this man started talking about his life in music he made it come alive. He came alive, and this old man's eyes lit up again. He talked of the places he'd been, the people he'd played with, and the orchestras he'd conducted. In his minds eye he is was at the top of the mountain, and could see the panorama of his life. He talked of his wife, whom he had been happily married to for fifty-five years. He talked of his children, and the love and pride he felt for them. He talked of the death of his wife, and how he had nursed herin the last years of her life. He talked of the emptiness and loneliness he now felt.
In the couple of hours I was there, I saw an anonymous old man turn into a person who I both liked and respected. This is no isolated incident. It has happened many times before, and will no doubt happen many more times. I don't know if my listening helped him, I know it helped me.

I have to hope that when it is my time to be old, someone will listen to me.