Monday, 29 January 2007

Have you ever put up ceiling lights?


Designers. How I would love to strangle a designer. Especially the ones that design light fittings.

I've just put up a Chandelier - it replaces what was there before. Have you ever tried standing on a platform with a part assembled light fitting in one hand, a screwdriver in the other, trying to get a ridiculously small screw into a badly machined hole on the side of a ceiling rose with your other hand. Wait a minute I hear you say I don't have three hands!.......... Now here's the rub. Neither do lamp designers. So why in the name of everything that is holy do they design such diabolical fittings. On a good day it can take 5 minutes to put up a lamp, but it can easily become half an hour, or even an hour... Once you've got it up, then the fun really begins.... dozens and dozens of tiny little dangly bits, need to be hung on hair like wire clips, threaded through virgin size holes. All this and then you've got to go out and get a specific type of light bulb which normal shops in the area don't stock !!!!!!!!!!!

It is my fervent hope that all designers everywhere heed this message, If you do not mend your ways, I will invoke a leather-winged demon of the night to tear itself, shrieking blood and fury, from the endless caverns of the nether world, to hurl itself into the darkness with a thirst for blood on its slavering fangs and it will search the very threads of time for the throbbing of your heartbeat. Just thought you'd want to know that. :)

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